You show up three hours late to your own wedding, apparently stoned out of your mind.
Your passport has an unidentifiable stamped glyph (and the ink is glowing).
You dream of surveillance devices implanted in your teeth.
Your butt hurts, and you don't know why.
It's always someone else who's got an otherworldly excuse for not showing up. You're too coordinated to get on the wrong plane. You floss. You've never particularly been a fan of anal probes (not that there's anything wrong with that).
Why the heck don't they ever abduct the people who would be GLAD to help them out?
Sign up with us. Just send an email to scoutship at abductedbyaliens.com and we'll keep your address handy. If the Visitors ever arrive (which we aren't guaranteeing will ever happen), they will certainly be talented enough to surf the Web. They'll see AbductedByAliens.com, and save themselves a stack of trouble by contacting the people who wouldn't mind meeting them in the first place.
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